What I Learned from Coffee Meetings

Based on how many times I’ve been to the Coffee Collective branches in Copenhagen, I should be getting some kind of membership award. It is my go-to place in the center because of the cozy atmosphere and perfect coffee flavours. It is a cafe where I run into friends often. Everybody should have this kind of home base in the city that they live in.

At the end of last year, I suddenly found myself in between projects and had the space to reflect on my career so far. I realized that I wanted to stay in consulting and doubled down on networking both internally and externally to find new opportunities for collaboration. The effort was fruitful as I expanded my network, identified potential cross-functional service offerings that my company could sell to clients while learning about latest industry practices.

During the pandemic, I really neglected this side of my career development and paid for it. Nowadays, people are more than willing to meet up and connect over a drink again. This is absolutely encouraged in Danish working culture especially for jobseekers. It is also an important skill in consulting, to stay visible to your colleagues if you are currently staffed in an engagement and more importantly as a way to find the next one.

One of the best cafes in Copenhagen

Coffee is more than just a catch-up, it’s a way to connect with people and in some cases it can lead to new companies being built. It is never a bad thing to have an agenda, and clearly communicating it beforehand to avoid a conversation that just goes around in circles. I have optimized these kind of informal meetings for the following purposes:

• Intelligence gathering — industry news, latest technology and other updates
• Getting advice for career progression
• Sharing experiences and learning from each other
• Emotional career support — venting on work issues or commiserating over layoff driven anxiety
• Brainstorming and idea generation

In one of my coffees with a friend, we thought it would be a good idea if I offered free career counseling sessions to students. Last month, I made a post on International Women’s Day floating his suggestion to my LinkedIn network. To my surprise, I did end up meeting three women who may have ended up inspiring me more. I learned that I love to give back to the community in this manner. So everything went full circle in the end, with me now dispensing the advice and paying for the coffee. It was a satisfying feeling, similar to what writer Gaby Hinsliff must have experienced when younger women started to ask her for help in this inspiring read about confidence.

This is yet another challenge that women face when climbing the corporate ladder. In this HBR article based on the research paper “How Successful Women Manage Their Networks” by Inga Carboni, although women traditionally don’t have the same access to the informal executive networks that men do, there are some who are able to establish even stronger connections. The top four characteristics these women exhibited are:

1. Efficiency: Top female networkers prioritize their time and manage collaborative demands strategically. They set boundaries, streamline meetings, and focus on high-level thinking while maintaining their collaborative strengths and fostering key relationships.
2. Nimbleness: Successful female networkers maintain fluid relationships and adapt their networks to changing professional demands. They initiate new connections while also keeping some long-term advisors, striking a balance between old and new contacts.
3. Boundary-spanning: High-ranking and well-networked women connect with people from various functions, geographies, and business units. This broad network helps them access new information, lead innovation, and pursue career advancement.
4. Energy-balanced: Effective female networkers demonstrate a balance of competence and warmth, as well as intelligence and emotional intelligence. They showcase their skills and accomplishments while also using humor, presence, and active listening to signal positivity and support creative thinking among colleagues.

Sometimes, I still feel intimidated going to coffee meetings with people higher in seniority. There is a bit more pressure to not feel like I am wasting their time. Here are some of my favourite tips that I found in this Reddit thread:

• Clearly outline 3 job functions you do that you love right now. Think of 3 goals you are passionate about achieving and three things you value. Have a clear ask related to those goals.
• Don’t ask about what you want to know, because what you want to know, is guaranteed going to be a waste of their time. Ask about what they want to know, what are they worrying about, what are they planning or learning.
• Ask for the names of two “must meet” people in your organization that you don’t know now. Ask them for permission to CC them when you reach out to e-meet them per the senior persons suggestion to discuss X.
• The last question before you depart should be: “Can you think of any questions I didn’t ask today that perhaps I should’ve?”

My life philosophy is to never turn down a good coffee invite. Stay caffeinated and inspired!